When to Get a Divorce

by : Kyle Chambers

When to Get a Divorce
When confronted with the possibility of 'throwing a relationship away', you will probably experience a lot of stress. There are some things you can do to decide if you are in the wrong relationship and if you need to get out.

Grounds for Divorce
Here are just a few key points on grounds for divorce. The list is not meant to be a complete list of all the steps you need to take, but will give you 'food for thought' on when to get a divorce.

Deciding on Divorce: How to know you are making the right choice

  1. Is your partner/spouse abusive?
    If your signifigant other has abused you in the past, they probably will do so again in the future. If you are in a situation where you continue to be abused you need to GET OUT IMMEDIATELY! Abuse usually get's worse over time. Even though it may be difficult to leave, there are many resources and support systems for batered people.

  2. Has your partner cheated on you?
    For some people this is unforgiveable. If your partner has cheated on you you need to decide if you will be able to forgive them or not. Be honest with yourself. If you know in your heart of hearts that you will never be able to forgive them - you need to end the relationship.

  3. Does your partner make more money than you? Perhaps you would have a better life if you left. If your partner makes more money than you, chances are you'll get a nice alimony (and child support if you have kids) - when you combine that with your own salary you could have a better life. There are some secrets to getting more money from your divorce and also saving on the costs. If you want to be ruthless and get everything you can from your divorce you will have to find the right Divorce Method.

  4. Are you happy in the relationship?
    Sit back for a moment and think to yourself 'Am I happy in my relationship?' If you are happy, then great! If you're not happy then you need to ask another question. Ask yourself 'Can I forsee myself ever being happy in this relationship?' If you can see yourself being happy if some small changes are made, then it might be worth your effort to get marital counselling. I want to mention here that the small changes must come from inside you. You do not have the power to change anyone else (including your spouse). If can't see yourself EVER being happy you should probably get out of the relationship.

  5. Is there anything wrong with Divorce?
    This is a moral decision you need to decide for YOURSELF. When people are confronted with the possiblity of divorce, they usually think about how other people will judge them morally if they get divorced. You need to decide for yourself. Forget about what your parents, priest, minister, rabbi, friends, co-workers, etc.. think about the moral decision for divorce. Take the time to think to yourself 'Based on my experiences in my life, Would it be morally 'wrong' to get divorced?' This may be a hard decision for you to make, but you need to make it. You should not do something that you believe is morally wrong. You also shouldn't be obligated to not do something that you want to do if you think it is morally acceptable.

Grounds for Divorce
The decision to divorce is never easy, but you do have options. You need to be able to look at your life as whole and decide if it is good or bad. You also need to look at every possible aspect of your relationship with your spouse and see if the good outweighs the bad, or if the bad outweighs the good.

Sometimes your judgement is clouded when you only focus on the good or only on the bad. The bottom line is to do what you need to do to have a more fulfilling and happy life.