How to Look Fat Naked?

by : Jennifer Schaecher

7 Step Guide to Look Fat Naked

So you want to look fat naked? Apparently, that is the popular theme these days so here are seven tips to get you well on your way to the latest trend.

Step #1: Eat whatever crap you want all the time. Don't think about making healthy choices such as fruits and vegetables.

Step #2: Don't eat breakfast. Everyone knows that eating breakfast is a waste of time, and you don't really need fuel for your brain or your metabolism to start the day.

Step #3: Make yourself look better in clothes and delude yourself into feeling thinner. If you carefully select clothes to hide trouble zones, you will really look fat naked.

Step #4: Throw away all mirrors. If you don't look at yourself in the mirror, you can look fat naked and never face it.

Step #5: Drink energy or sport drinks or pop, any high-calorie beverage instead of water. After all, you need those added calories if you want to look fat naked.

Step #6: Don't do any physical activity ever. Avoid parking too far away from stores. Try to spend a lot of time on the couch instead of walking the dog, riding your bike, or working out.

Step #7: Tell yourself how fat you are. This is the absolute best way to look fat naked.

Congratulations! You look fat naked, just like 70% of Americans.