Romantic Relationships: An Internal Process

by : Justin Luyt

If you grew up in the 80s like I did, you might remember the group Depeche Mode and their hit "Just Can't Get Enough." It is a song about being obsessed with the idea of being with someone, about needing another person. Romance easily becomes this addiction when we believe that we are not complete without someone else and that we simply cannot get enough of the blissful feeling we get when we are with him or her. When we believe we need the romance to be complete, we are in trouble for we are perfect and complete, connected to the world at all times - we merely need to choose to acknowledge that we are.

We are fortunate in today's world to have great tools to help us overcome this false belief. Relationship coaching, romance coaching (with dating coaches) and counseling are merely a few of the tools we have at hand to help us overcome this fear. Many relationship books have been written with great relationship advice, but the essence is still our desire to release the fear we hold within and return to love.

In a very special way, romantic relationships are that journey back to love, back to the knowing that we are all part of a macrocosm called Life and that we can access the wonders of love, compassion, understanding, harmony, peace and more, simply by making such choices.

Physically, we're all made basically the same way, save for gender differences. But whether one is Madonna, Prince Charles, me, you or the waitress that served you lunch today, our bodies all operate in a similar manner. The way we behave and our ideas about things stems from psychological differences. Different ways in which we think cause us to make certain decisions.

We have the tendency to label our romantic partners as being special. There's a price to pay for special love if we are not careful. Telling a person that he or she is "special" projects the idea that the person possesses something you do not. This implies that you are not complete without them. Or in other words, that you need them. Everyone holds all the potential in the world within. Thus, our projection of being "half complete" is a false thought of guild, for innately we know we are connected to our source, but our Ego denies that truth.

So where do I start with this shift in perception? True Intimacy is of the mind, not of the body. Having sex with a person does not create intimacy in any way. You can sleep with someone, or even live with someone, for years and not experience intimacy. Authentic self-expression is the key to true intimacy in romantic relationships, as well as in all other relationships. Getting to a place where you can authentically share your feelings and experiences is where I suggest you begin in order to create true intimacy with someone.

At Romance Coaching, you partake in Transformational Education that strengthens your beliefs about yourself. You might find that you restrict yourself and not take a leap to meet new people, or you simply find you are in a relationship but lack intimacy. Think what you believe about yourself. Do you believe you deserve a long lasting Romantic Relationship? What are your thoughts about Intimacy, Affection, Love, Sex?… Really think…

Our Transformational Education has one aim – …to develop the skill of Romance.