What do you WANT? What do you DESERVE?

by : Chris Ulliott


This article is used for discovering our needs from life, our desires for where we want to be and who we want to become. Remember life is not about finding out who we are but about creating who we want to become, the things we will leave behind with our team, our family and our friends.


You may or may not be suprised to hear that not everyone in this world is always aware of how they fit into their community or what they want to do with themselves. There are many people who have such amazing minds and can accomplish so many things yet they are never sure of what direction in life they would like to take.

From our studies of excellence and successful people we can see that each person who considers themselves to be successful and peaceful within themselves all have this outcome for who they want to be in life. In fact it goes a step further than that because they not only know who or what they want to become but they can describe it to you in explicit detail. They have images and sounds in their minds that accurately show them what they are going towards and with this they build a tenacious resolve deep inside to become this all successful human being. Even before they achieve their successes, on their way down the road to their various goals they experience comfort and total peace of mind as they are getting closer to that dream with every passing minute.


Walter Disney is known as a famous cartoonist and for making Disney World and Disneyland. His dream was to become a cartoonist and he made his dream come true. Not only did it come true but DisneyWorld today is one of the most renowned and spectacular cartoon producers ever! That is the product of knowing your outcome. In fact not to long ago at a news conference a reporter asked representatives of DisneyWorld what they thought Walt would have said about Disney World today. Their reply was along the lines of - "What do you mean? He saw it first!". They realised that it was all made possible because of one mans dream and in that dream he saw exactly what he was going to produce - his very own Disney World.

Another example of this is Bill Gates. From the very beginning Bill always knew his personal outcome. He wanted to come up with some software that would be used to run every computer in the entire world. Some dream! Did he make it come true? Well I think we can safely say yes he did because MS Dos and the Windows operating systems have been implemented on more than 95% of the worlds computers. How amazing is that? He didnt even come up with the software to begin with, he purchased the Dos system from IBM in the early days for little over 35, 000 dollars and now hes the richest man alive. That is some by-product of one teenagers dream.


However, before we can see our lifes dream come around like our friends Walt Disney and Bill Gates, there is a need to establish what our desired outcome really is. Where do we want to be? Who do we want to become? What is it in life that is really that important to us? We need an answer to these questions to grow in life, its vital to have direction in order to feel fulfilment and real satisfaction in your life.

So lets get to the specifics, how can we know and begin to develop our outcome? In order for us to look at what your personal outcome is for your life and who you want to become you need to think about your desires for life and what you believe is a must have/be or what is a could have/be. To start thinking along these lines, do the following exercise with a pen and paper and see what you can come up with.

1. Remember back to when you were young and when you were just starting to realise that your life is yours and you can direct it any way you like. Remember the times that the adults in your life would ask you what you would like to do when you grow up. What was your answer? At the age of 7 or 8 what did you want to do when you became a grown up? Think about it for a moment and see that small you thinking "Hmmm, what would I like to do?".

In your minds eye bring that image of what you wanted to do up close and make it bright and colourful, really see what it was that you wanted to do. Take your time, for some this does not come easy. Once you have a large bright image of what you wanted to do in your minds eye, think about what that job or role would have meant about you as a person. For example would it show you to be caring, intelligent, humble or would it show you to love people or that you are explorative and open minded? Take some time to list the things that this job you wanted to do would say about you as a person.

Once you have a list of things written down, think how many other pursuits in life could lead to having the same fundamental characteristics as the job you desired when you were younger. What else could you do to become that person that you always wanted to become? How else can you achieve your lifes desires and goals and to truly feel fulfilled in yourself? To add more juice to the things coming into your mind right now try going through the second step in creating a well defined outcome for your life.

2. Now is the time to really let go and be silly. Use your imagination in this step like you have never used it before. Dont allow beliefs about how the world really works stop you from exploring every avenue of life in this exercise.

What I want you to do now is to imagine that everything you do in your life from now on will be 100% totally successful. Nothing will ever fail for you from this point onwards in your life. Now from this position of power, make a list of as many different things you would like to accomplish. What would you do, would you buy a yatch and sail the world? Would you find a cure to a fatal disease? Would you make it your mission to move towards world peace? Would you burn all your clothes and get a new wardrobe and become a new person, an excelling person who loves his/her life? Write down all the things that you would like to do if everything you did was totally successful. List them all and leave nothing out. Nothing is too silly or mad or impossible for this exercise. What would you do? Think about it. Write it down.

3. So by now you should have two lists and be able to see yourself doing them in your minds eye very vividly and colourful and bright. If not just spend some time looking over the lists and practice seeing yourself already accomplishing the things noted down. Notice how the pictures look in your mind and how that makes you feel.

4. In this step you need to go through your lists and pick out just 5 things that will affect your life for the better. That will move you towards your goal of who you want to become and give you the results you truly deserve. Carefully consider each item and weigh up the time lines before committing to it as a goal for your life. Select just 5 things so that you can give complete time and energy and remain focused on pursuing your lifes outcome.

This four step process will enable us to identify the meaning of who we want to become and give us the images in our minds of what life will be like when we have accomplished them. There are some important factors when establishing our lifes outcome which need to be addressed if we are to remain juiced about it or stay motivated about it through the duration of acquiring the changes and the desired results. These factors can easily be remembered as follows:

i) Stated positively in terms of what we want. The human mind does not comprehend negatives. What do I mean by this? Well for example try not noticing the sensation in your stomach right now, or try not thinking of the colour blue. Its pretty much impossible because you first have to know what it is you are not thinking about the then replace it with something else. The human mind works using positives so dont state goals such as I dont want to smoke anymore. Rather state something like I want to become a healthy vibrant individual with lots of energy and passion for life. Stating it this way and using this to form your images of your desired results will drastically increase your chances of achieving your lifes outcome.

ii) Described in sensory based language. Now that we have stated our outcome in positive language we can now ask "What will I see, hear and feel when I have my outcome?". Doing this will help us to realise when we have fully realised our desires for our life. Close your eyes briefly and see the pictures of what it will be like when you achieve your desired outcome. Listen carefully to your surroundings as you realise your goal and see how that makes you feel inside. Doing this will setup your nervous system to continually look forward to achieving the goals and drives you towards them until achieved.

iii) Self initiated and self controlled. Although you can control your own mind and emotions you cannot control those of others. So, for example, it would be futile to base outcomes on changing your spouse or parent(s). You must be in control of your desired outcome and only you can know how and when to achieve it.

iv) Appropriately contextualized. We need to build our outcomes for our lives so that it fits into all the appropriate areas of our lives. If we over generalize our outcomes we may find that they are inappropriate in some areas in our lifes. Think about when, where and with who you wish to have this outcome. Do you want it in all places and without limitations?

v) Maintain appropriate secondary gain. All of our present behaviour provides us with some positive values and outcomes. It may not always be obvious but there will always be a positive intention behind the behaviour for example a smoker will get some positive feedback from the experience of a smoke despite its destructiveness on the body. You need to ensure that your outcome would be desirable in your entire ecology or system. For example ask yourself what would you loose if you achieved your goals? Would you loose any personal time for yourself? Would it hinder your relationships with your family? Would you have to give up anything that you feel is important to have your success?

vi) Build the needed resources. To have any desired outcome we need resources. If someone cannot clearly imagine themselves having the outcome it is often an indication that they do not have all the require resources. What do you have now and what do you require to achieve your goals? Have you or anyone else you know ever done this before? Where can you find more information regarding your specific sensory based and well defined outcome?

vii) Ecology check. In order to achieve anything in life you need to ensure that it fits your entire system, your family, your work, your friends. Does it fit who you are or who you want to become? Ask the following questions and think about your answers before committing to the results you desire: What will happen if you get it? What wont happen if you get it? What will happen if you dont get it? What wont happen if you dont get it?


By now you should have a well defined, sensory based and ecologically sound outcome for your life. You already knew deep inside what you wanted but perhaps it has never been an appropriate time to think about it like this before. Now you should go and celebrate. Congratulate yourself and start dreaming about how you are going to start your journey to building a new, totally satisfied and truly peaceful you.

If you require any further help, please take the time to look through our other articles as they cover a wide variety of issues and they are free. We just want you to achieve your best and we know you are more then the sum of your parts. We also have personal life coaches for those who are interested in taking their life to the next step.