If I could have a dollar for every time a parent told me that their kids won't listen to them, I would be a very rich person. It is tough to get kids to listen all the time. But I would like to share with you some strategies that I have used with great success over the years: With one of my kids, a 12 year old with ADHD, I actually go to him and place my hand on his shoulder to let him know that I need his attention. I do this because nothing else works. I want to make life easier for both of use so I continue to do what works for him. Sam is an individual and has different needs than my other kids. He is ADHD and I must make an allowance for that, even though it is not an excuse. with my son Sam, I choose to focus on other things right now. I have a 14 year old who is not ADHD and I know is capable of more than his other brothers. So I hold him to a much higher standard. This is my choice. I have always told me children that they are individuals and as such I will treat them as individuals. This season Sam is playing soccer but my other children had a break. Because Sam has a talent and applies himself well to soccer I gave him an extra opportunity this year. I have yet to figure out how Sam can be so good with a ball but not concentrate in other areas. But we are constantly working on things together and he is improving. When I talk to my children, they are expected to come immediately to help out. But I do still help my little one by going to her and getting down to her level. If you have a child under about 8 years of age, it can help to get down to their level. Even if it means getting onto the floor to talk to them, they will appreciate it and this will help you to connect with your child. It also helps the child realize that you are interested in their world. If you call out through the house to your kids, guess what they will eventually do to you? It is vitally important to remember that kids copy what they live with. Kids are like leeches. They grab hold of everything. So make sure that you are modeling the things that you are happy to see your child do back to you. Children learn what they live with. When we model listening to our kids, our kids will listen to us in return. It really is as simple as that. Don't expect your child to what you are not prepared to do for them. Parenting is a two way street and both parties need to work together to achieve success. These are some things that I use to try and get my kids to listen to me. And no, my kids don't always do it right. They are still learning, as am I. The main thing is that we are willing to learn and do things differently. Lastly, when you do find something that works, keep on doing it.
Honesty is the best policy, especially in the case of adoption. One of the really difficult questions to answer is, �why did my real parents give me up?� Most adoptive parents work hard to preserve their child�s self-esteem by telling them that their birth parents could not,�raise you the way you deserved, so they decided to let you be free to join a family who could give you everything you need.�
If your child notices that you look nothing alike, for example, admit that he/she is right and ask how they feel about it. Children ask different questions at different times in their life. Considering the child's feelings will help you understand what�s really on the child�s mind.
Discrimination and Bullying-
When children are seen as different, because of their family life, the color of their skin or the shape of their eyes, can be forced to deal with bullying. You are your child�s primary protector. Bullying needs to be dealt with straight away by intervening with teachers and other families. Children shouldn�t have to tolerate being bullied.
You may want to ask your child�s teacher or the principal if you can teach about the different ways that families are formed as a special presentation in November, during National Adoption Month. Help the children learn that adoption is just one way a family comes together, just like when two divorcees blend their families or when a child goes to live with Grandma.
If your child is African, Chinese, or any other ethnicity you can teach his/her classmates all about their culture.
Rebellion-
Your child may experience anger about being given up for adoption, anger at you and your spouse for adopting him or her, anger at everybody because his life has challenges that they do not face. While each situation is unique, you must understand that anger and to not take it personally.
The Joy of Adoption-
As an adoptive parent you will probably have some challenges but you will also experience the joy of knowing that you chose to make a family with your child. Find other adoptive families and create friendships with them. You�ll find that they�re a little bit extra special because of the steeper path that they chose to climb to make their families and they cherish those families all the more for all the extra pains it took to bring them together.
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Http://www.mychildcanbehave.com has sinced written about articles on various topics from Family. Kim Patrick is a single mum with four children, living on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. she is a best selling author as well as a child behavior managemen. Http://www.mychildcanbehave.com's top article generates over 8100 views. Bookmark Http://www.mychildcanbehave.com to your Favourites.