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[H793]How Many Men Cheat

by Neeraj Kumar, Nee

I thumbed through the New York City Yellow pages under "Escort Services". There were twenty-five pages! "Escort" is just the way businesses get around saying "prostitutes". Clearly, the world's oldest profession is alive and well here in the Big Apple. I even feel I can safely say that not all the men who patronize these services are single.

Cheat is a silly word it's culturally centered. It implies that we've violated the rules of the game of fidelity. First off, take a look at the current divorce rate: 1 out of every 2 marriages fails. Why? Marital infidelity is the biggest reason. There are other cultures that openly allow a man to have more than one wife; the Muslims. One of the richest men on the planet today, The Sultan of Brunei has 100 wives! Right here in the United States, polygamy is openly practiced in Utah.

We exist as human beings on two levels; with bodies and minds. We attempt to enforce a set of Puritanical moral codes that contradict our physical desires. This is just another of the many ridiculous hypocrisies people try to impose upon themselves and others.

If we would only be honest with ourselves, then we'd acknowledge the fact that we are sexually attracted to more than one individual. This is not a violation of any love promise made to one woman, it's just instinct, that pre-loaded software package in our brains. On the purely physical plane, we have instinct and hormones constantly influencing our thoughts. This combination comes into play when a man sees an attractive woman walking by. She stimulates his senses. He doesn't know what she's thinking he only sees her physical attributes. They make him feel good.

He has fantasies of what it would be like to kiss her, to feel her body against his; to make love to her. Seconds after, a second thought, guilt, may come barging in. "I'm a married man" or "I've got a girlfriend" or "How could I betray her like that?" It's absurd that a man should feel guilt for something over which he has no control.

Let's not forget movies, television and printed media. James Bond, the ultimate womanizer, immediately comes to mind. What about these soap operas that millions of women sit glued to their televisions watching? The appeal of most of them is in watching the main characters have affairs. Now there's a show on Fox called "Temptation Island"(which should really be called "Sexual Survivor") where young couples are placed on an island. The men and women are separated to opposite sides inhabited by horny singles whose sole mission is to seduce these committed people. The ratings for this show have been phenomenal! And how about that riveting drama in the tabloids as well as mainstream newspapers that unfolded in the White House a few years ago? You remember, Bill Clinton and "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky" Monica Lewinsky?

With the advent of the Internet, a whole new definition of cheating exists: Computer love affairs, the infidelity of your text. Men can cyber with women and vice versa.

Here is where the distinction must be drawn. Physical performance vs. emotional betrayal. Which do you think is more important? A man can patronize a hooker, and once he's completed the sexual act she becomes just a vague memory. He doesn't want to grow old with her. This is a very important point since men and women have fought, marriages have crumbled, and so much emotional agony is left in its wake.

The bottom line is that men are and will continue to be attracted to other women and yes, women have and will continue to be attracted to other men too. When we can accept the reality, then maybe we'll have become more mature as a society.

What is also interesting to note is that men do not forgive a physical transgression of the wife and women find it difficult to deal with the emotional transgression of the husband. This is because men can indulge in physical intimacy without any emotional bonding while women often look for an emotional bond to establish a physical relationship.

It has been long touted that men can not help taking up an available opportunity for physical relationships. They have purely physical reasons for doing so. This however is not the case. Men cheat on their spouses for a variety of mental and emotional reasons as well:

Novelty from Marriage Gone: Most marriages after an initial period of physical and emotional high settle down into a normal daily routine. There is a decrease in the emotional high of romance, in frequency and novelty of physical intimacy and couples get bogged down by day to day problems. This makes a man cheat in order to find an earlier emotional high and it serves as an escape route from everyday problems, even if temporarily.

Thrill: Men get bored with the same woman, same life and same job and so as a misdirected attempt to introduce some thrill in their life they have an affair. They shy away from the effort and responsibility of rekindling romance and emotion in their own marriage or develop some hobby as a way out and add spice to their life by going after a new woman.

Ego Boost: Men often use infidelity as a way of reassuring themselves of their manhood, their good looks and attraction for women other than their wives. It is also a symptom of their low self esteem and low self worth. They often get a temporary ego boost by proving their physical prowess by having an affair with another woman. This is typical of older men going after women much younger to them after years of marriage.

Lack of Will Power: Intimacy is a natural process and temptations abound. It is definitely something that gives pleasure even if momentarily. Men who lack will power and are weak in character give in to the temptation and cheat on their spouse. Often they are not looking for an affair but as soon as an opportunity presents itself they go for it.

Seeking Revenge: Men often resort to an extra marital relationship as the means of hurting and getting back at the partner who has either hurt their feelings, hurt their ego or have cheated on them. Though there is no justification for their act, their feelings are assuaged. They knowingly, intentionally get in to it and willingly let their partner become aware of it.

Dissatisfaction with Intimacy: Physical fulfillment is an important part of a successful marital relationship, more so for men. They often show their emotional attachment or love through physical relationship. In a relationship where the woman is unable or unwilling to satisfy a man's physical needs leads to an emotional estrangement. This often makes men look for physical gratification outside the relationship.

Can Get Away With It: Most women are not ready to rock the boat, break a marriage, leave the house, trouble the children for an odd transgression by the husband. They are often wiling to forgive and reconcile with the man. A lot of men are aware of this weakness and use the opportunity with impunity.

Emotional Reasons: It is not only the physical needs but emotional ones as well that can lead a man to stray. A couple might be unable to reconcile their differences, think on similar planes, there might be no bonding between the two leading to an emotional detachment .A man in such a situation might seek to fill the emotional void by having an extra marital relationship with a woman he feels understands him better or is his true soul mate.

Thus, there are a number of reasons for a man to cross the moral boundaries and cheat on his partner. It is the worst form of hurt anyone can inflict on a person they claim to love or care for. Though it is difficult to get over the betrayal and insult, a lot more women than men are able to forgive their cheating partners and save their relationships.

Article Source : Lemon Chiffon

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Both Neeraj Kumar & James Walsh are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Neeraj Kumar has sinced written about articles on various topics from Affiliate Programs, Modelling and How to Sell on Ebay. Did you find this article useful? For more useful tips & hints, Points to ponder and keep in mind, techniques & insights. Do please browse for more information at our website :-. Neeraj Kumar's top article generates over 12100 views. Bookmark Neeraj Kumar to your Favourites.

James Walsh has sinced written about articles on various topics from Small Business, Binding Machines and Divorce and Infidelity. James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk. James Walsh's top article generates over 368000 views. Bookmark James Walsh to your Favourites.