The laptops are easiest because they can be moved around, and with a flat piece of wood and a bit of jury-rigging, the dear old ones never even have to leave their wheelchairs to connect with cyberspace!

They also like the cost-effectiveness. For instance, instead of hiring high-priced estate lawyers, I show them how to use convenient, easy-to-understand estate-planning and will-writing software right there in the comfort of their wheelchair. Of course, sometimes their frail hands shake or their arthritis acts up, so I step in to help them with the editing and clean it up a bit. They appreciate the assistance.

Another program they really like to use is PayPal. I've helped dozens of them set up accounts, show them how to transfer their savings to it, and even do money transfers to other accounts. They really like to do that last part. It's fun for them to see all that money whizzing around out there in the ether.

Works the same for retirement plans. I show them all kinds of fun ways to reinvest their savings. And all at the touch of a button! They can't give me their passwords fast enough!

Of course, then there is all the fun they can have on their laptops with credit cards. I show them how to enter their passwords, card numbers, pin numbers and security codes in order to easily order presents for their loved ones. Naturally, I make sure to keep a written record of all the numbers to make things easier. The elderly can be so forgetful.

One of the things that old people - particularly ones who still live in their own homes -have problems with is clutter. It tell them how I can find homes for their musty old possessions simply by using my laptop. They are so pleased, they insist on paying me for hauling out all that old useless junk. Of course, I must refuse their offers. That is not what volunteering is all about.

As much as I enjoy helping out the elderly and infirm, alas, the real world awaits and I must return to my day job. I have just enough time to gas up the Ferrari before my shift starts at Burger King.

I hope I remembered to lock it. Wouldn't want anyone stealing my laptop.