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[W577]What To Do On Second Date

by Brian Adams, Bri

You've made passed the first date Now, what do you do? The second date is about getting to know your date more. The questions are a bit more personal, yet we still recommend that you stay away from very serious or personal conversations. After all, this is only the second time you have met this person.

The Second Date

This could be the “make or break date” for you, depending upon how smoothly the evening flows. We usually recommend going on at least three dates before you decide not to see someone again. Sometimes it can take two or three meetings before the chemistry kicks in.

On the other hand, if you have to give yourself a pep talk every time you go out to meet this person, you might want to consider calling it a day. Going with the flow too long isn't smart. One of you could get emotionally attached and that makes it harder to break it off later. Again, trust your instincts. Remember, it's just a date. If there isn't chemistry between the two of you, don't force it. There are plenty of other people out there waiting to meet you.

As you did before, choose a place where you feel comfortable and one that suits both of your tastes, otherwise you might be distracted and not able to focus your attention on your date. Hopefully on this date you are both more relaxed and able to open up and reveal some juicy insight into the things that make you the unique and wonderful person that you are.

Remember, your aim is to discover as much relevant information about him or her as possible. Take it easy and don't rush things. Remind yourself that perfect people do not exist in this world and everybody has strong and weak traits — you included. Your goal is to gather some fundamental facts, discover more of his or her personality and notice your chemistry… oh, and have fun!

Don't focus on whether or not this person could be “the one.” This is just a date. You are just getting to know this person on date number two, not deciding whether you can see yourself marrying this person.

To do that you should:

• Ask questions and listen carefully. Being a great listener is a major turn-on to both sexes.

• Let them see the real you. Drop the façade, open up, disclose more detail and be vulnerable. You want the person to like the real you, not the person you are trying to be.

• Share yourself — express opinions, desires and interests; however stay away from serious or personal questions. You are still in the “getting to know you” phase.

• Know what you want — it's the only way you can determine if you are a match. If you are sure that you are not ready to be a step parent, find out if they have children from a previous marriage.

• Try to see them as they truly are, not as the people you want them to be. It's easy to get carried away with the excitement of meeting someone you really like and to place him or her on a pedestal, while losing sight of the real human being underneath it all. Trust your instincts when it comes to whether or there is chemistry between the two of you. Don't force something to be there that isn't.

Don't worry if all your questions aren't answered on this date. Give it time and let the information come out naturally. You don't want to appear as if you're conducting a formal interview. At this stage you shouldn't be trying to determine if you've got a life match, so give yourself some room for romance.

Okay. You've done all the things the dating experts told you to do on how to meet women and lo and behold it worked. You met an attractive woman and she wants to go out with you. Great. However if you want to make this first date your last and guarantee that she avoids any future contact with you as if you had a plague from the 12th century than utilize the following tips:

1. Lateness

You planned out this date in great detail. You obviously planned also not to be on time. It is one thing to call and let her know you are running a little behind schedule but are on the way. It is another to show up an hour later (or worse) and not even give her the courtesy of a phone call. When it comes to going out somewhere, many women are sticklers for promptness. You do not get a second chance to make a first impression and showing up late tells her you are not really taking this date seriously

2. What conversation?

Your date starts talking and talking and talking. Not because she wants to but because you do not have anything to say other than an occasional "uh-huh". It could be nerves on your part or you were just unprepared to speak on any subject. Whatever it is, having to drag conversation out of your date is not a woman's idea of fun.

This goes for the opposite end of the spectrum also. Practicing conversation hogging or slapping down her opinion each time she attempts to contribute to the discussion may give her the following impression: "This guy is a jerk." Chances are that's not the vibe you wanted to give out.

3. What humor?

You don't know any jokes. You don't make any humorous comments. As a matter of fact, when she says something funny you go out of your way to analyze it and find the serious point in what she was trying to say. Yuck. No one wants to be around a stick in the mud. Sharing some laughs with her can work absolute wonders so lighten up.

Now keep in mind she never agreed to go out on a date with Bozo the Clown either. Laughing at anything and everything is not healthy. Doing this could make her a little nervous about you. She could also come to the conclusion you have some serious issues to work out.

4. Pretend

This is known in some circles as lying. Sure you want to impress her but exaggerating your importance is not the way to do it. Starting a dating relationship with a lie is a formula for disaster. If your date senses that you are lying, that disaster will come sooner than you think.

5. She reminds me of

If you want to guarantee this is your last date with her than start here. You are out with her and talking about your ex wife, former girlfriends or any other women you have on your mind is not going to further the relationship. She agreed to go out on this date with you. You would do well to treat her like she is the most important woman in your life at this moment.

Of course there are other things you can do to foul up your chances of getting a second date. Talking on your cell phone incessantly, forgetting her name (repeatedly) or drifting off to never never land when she is talking. All are pretty effective but for right now stick with the five listed above and before you know it, you will be home every night watching reruns of Sanford and Son.

Article Source : relationship

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Both Brian Adams & D.w Campbell are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Brian Adams has sinced written about articles on various topics from First Date, Flirting Tips and computers and the internet. . Brian Adams's top article generates over 1000 views. Bookmark Brian Adams to your Favourites.

D.w Campbell has sinced written about articles on various topics from Sales and Negotiation, Web Development and Dating Mistakes. Daryl Campbell invites you to get more relationship and dating tips, tools, videos, up to the minute information plus your free copy of 101 Romantic Ideas. It's all at. D.w Campbell's top article generates over 12100 views. Bookmark D.w Campbell to your Favourites.