In this short article, I can't go into too much detail about how to deliver bad news to specific groups of people.
When you're delivering bad news, your audience may be understandably hostile. My experience is that they'll still probably behave in a peaceful and civil fashion. It's just that their questions might be difficult.
FOUR POINTS TO REMEMBER ABOUT QUESTIONS - EASY AND DIFFICULT
1. PLEASE TREAT YOUR AUDIENCE WITH THE RESPECT YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE SHOWN TO YOU. Answer their questions directly and honestly. Hedging around because you feel uncomfortable just leads to 'death by a thousand cuts'. That phrase describes what you're doing if you tell outright lies or delay telling the truth in answer to difficult questions.
2. "I DON'T KNOW" IS A VERY ACCEPTABLE ANSWER TO SOME DIFFICULT QUESTIONS. You don't have to know everything! So relax. If you're asked a question and you feel you should know the answer, please consider saying: "Thank you. That's a very interesting question. I'll have to get back to you on that, after I've spoken to _________. I'll get the answer to that back to (the organiser of the event) by Monday. Thanks again for raising that matter."
I don't think I have to say here that if you promise to get back on Monday with the information....I won't say it. You know what you have to do.
3. SET A TIME AND A TIME LIMIT FOR QUESTIONS In any presentation it's always a good idea to set a time when the audience can ask questions. Unless it's an interactive seminar where I'm actively seeking input, I specify that there'll be time at the end of the talk for questions. It's also good to set a limit to that question time. If you're a member of a panel of speakers the Chair will do that for you. If not, just announce first up that you'll take questions for ___ minutes at the end of your presentation.
4. NEVER END YOUR PRESENTATIONS WITH A Q AND A SESSION While it's great to keep the questions until after you've spoken, please make sure that you have the last word. Literally. When you've answered questions, be sure to end your presentation with a strong assertion of your main message(s).
DEALING WITH A DIFFICULT AUDIENCE During your presentation, if someone or a group of people, start being disruptive you won't be the only one who'll be annoyed or upset. You can use the audience to support you in dealing with difficult members within it.
For instance, you can ask the audience if they want to listen to you or to the people being disruptive. Put that question positively: "this person/group is here today to deliver another point of view. Could I have a show of hands to indicate who wants to listen to them now instead of me?" In 99% of cases, you'll get audience support to continue.
If however the audience does want to hear the other person/group, you have nothing to lose by acceding to that. You'll have come across as a gracious and reasonable person interested in your audience.
Besides, you'd have no way to keep their attention under those circumstances, so it is preferable to allow a slight break in your presentation. In twenty years of making hundreds of public addresses, that has never happened to me.
With difficult audiences there are a limited number of things you can do. Apart from actually involving the wider audience in keeping the peace, you can:
* Politely but firmly advise the disruptive person that s/he'll have a chance to speak and ask questions later.
* Again in a polite but firm manner, remind the person that you're there to present your point of view. Neither s/he nor you is a member of a debating team.
Your role is to present your ideas and information in a compelling and engaging manner. It is not a good idea to get into arguments with one audience member or a small group.
Always remember that the audience has the responsibility to listen with polite respect. They're not required to agree with you, but they are required to listen. As always, to your continued success and happiness.
You and your child are probably frustrated because so many things haven't worked.
You're likely worried about your child's future, and yours.
If your child is very angry and defiant and is constantly challenging your every word, you're exhausted and hurt, perhaps even angry, because parenting shouldn't be so hard.
Here's the good news: Although your child behavior problems may seem complicated, the solutions are quite simple.
Here's Why You're Stuck:
Built into your child's condition is a parent-child relationship destroyer that you can't stop until you understand your child's condition completely. Not what the books say. Not what the case studies show.
But what having this condition really means to your child. How he or she interprets everything you do and say. That's entirely different than what you intend.
That explains the disconnect between your loving intentions and your child's willingness to cooperate. And the underlying reason is as astonishing as the solution.
There's no way that you would ever guess it. So you can forgive yourself, right now. It isn't your fault.
Now that you know why you're stuck, let's talk about what works.
1. Understanding what your child really needs so that you can provide it. Children with ADHD, ODD, Aspergers, and PDD-NOS and autism are easily emotionally overwhelmed. Therefore, it is important to remain even tempered, especially if your child is not.
You need to fulfill your child's special needs, including his need for a visual reward system, his need to learn proper emotional expression, and his need for values and skills training.
2. Adopting new ways of talking and acting that your child understands and respects. Your child has a short attention span. So you need to learn how to talk in six-second bits. Long talking bores him and causes him to feel disrespected. You also need to learn new gestures to replace those innocent gestures you probably use all day long that inflame angry children.
3. Using simple tools that regain your child's cooperation and restore order in your home. These tools help you motivate your child to improve his behavior and win your praise and attention.
The most important tool is a visual reward system, also called a behavior chart or star chart. Without it, you're stuck with begging, bribing, and threatening—they don't work. The secret here is to find a reward system that is easy to use.
4. Preparing your child with values and skills with which to succeed at home and school, and make friends. He cannot learn these values and skills by observing others. His short attention span won't allow it.
He needs you to teach him basic values, including honesty, charity, and responsibility. Then he will be ready to learn simple value-based skills, for example, telling the truth, sharing, and how to take care of himself and his belongings. He also needs to learn social skills, for example, introducing himself and talking on the phone. Without social skills training, your child will lack the ability to develop lasting and meaningful relationships.
You Can Solve This
It sounds easy and it is, with the right guide. It is a lot easier and less frustrating than repeatedly trying, struggling, and failing. I invite you to use these tips to build your relationship with your child, and reconnect with happier family times.
Both Jeannette Kavanagh & Debra Sale Wendler are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Debra Sale Wendler has sinced written about articles on various topics from Family, Children. If you want to calm your challenging child, I invite you to claim your free child behavior-improving report "Three Easy Ways to Improve Your Child's Behavior Today!" You can download part one when you subscribe at. Debra Sale Wendler's top article generates over 8100 views. Bookmark Debra Sale Wendler to your Favourites.