Does your lover walk around with a sticker on their head to tell you they’re in a loving or in a non-loving mood? Do you walk around with a badge on your chest that says Please love me, I need it NOW!
So what does real love look like? How do you know when you receive it?
It sounds so obvious but it’s not. Let’s check that out. Make a mental list of your answers to the following questions.
Who have you loved today? (List them in your mind – maybe your boss, your children or family?)
How do YOU know that you loved them. How can you be definite it was love?
(Was it love in your attitude towards them?
Was it perhaps caring decisions that you made towards them?
Was it a tender touch or a kind word that you communicated?
What did you do?)
You may have communicated love, but did they receive it? Did they experience it as loving? This is the tough part, because we have little or no control over other people’s reactions to our love acts.
It is so convenient to presume that because we loved, they automatically felt loved. You may even feel that they now owe it to love you back, but maybe they didn’t even notice your loving. Have you ever experienced that your loving was ignored, as though you were invisible. That no-one notices how loving you are – especially if you are a mom!
If at the end of your day you can list who it was that you loved and how then you are fortunate. For most of us one day just blends into the next, and we are hardly aware of when loving is happening or when it is not, simply because we live without feedback about how we are doing with our loving.
I want to ask you to change this by taking some constructive action!
For the next seven nights, starting tonight, I want you to do three things to help you review your loving. You’ll be amazed how this feedback will take your loving to a new level.
Firstly, take a piece of paper and on it list all the people you attempted to love today, leaving some space between them for comments.
Secondly, Next to each name list what you did to love them, whether it be an action, your touch or your time.
Thirdly next to each one write how you think they received your loving, and what makes you think that – for example what they said, their body language, how they reacted.
Then expect them that they will feel loved and blessed by your loving.
Do that for the next few nights and you’ll suddenly recognize love in places and ways you have never seen it before.
Remember that much of the impact of your love is lost, if your loved ones do not FEEL loved by your loving activities. If in doubt, why not enquire of them whether they felt loved or not by what you did, and try new ways to communicate your love with them.