It would appear that male pattern   Baldness has set in   His hair, at an alarming pace   Running away from his face   He's losing his virility   And now he's masculinity   Has been compromised   And his libido down-sized      Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh   Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid   It's not for me you understand      Bald, slap headed and hairless   Bald he is destined to be   Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me      From what I have been reading   His scalp needs kneading   To stimulate each follicle   And reverse this diabolical   Condition that's afflicted he   For years and has cruelly   Repulsed each potential mate   And left him with a balding pate      Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh   Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid   It's not for me you understand      Bald, slap headed and hairless   Bald he is destined to be   Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me         Sock it to me baby, yeah!      Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh   Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid   It's not for me you understand         Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh   Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid   It's not for me you understand      Bald, slap headed and hairless   Bald he is destined to be   Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me   Thank God!      Bald, slap headed and hairless   Bald he is destined to be   Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me   How?