Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler    Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a sailor but he's    Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler    Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a Whaler    Could have been a Tailor,    He turned out to be Norman Mailer      Whooooooaaaaaaaa       He stepped back and he smoked a joint    Twenty thousand peasants had to get the point    Mommy was a hamster, Daddy was a jailer   Real tough childhood for such a fucking failure!       He's so glad he's    Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler    Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a sailor but he's    Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler    Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a Tailor    Could have been a Whaler,    He turned out to be Norman Mailer      Whooooooaaaaaaaa   V-L-A-D Vlad!      When he was a boy, they sent him to the Turks   But you know they didn't like him because all the Turks were jerks   When Vlad returned home his wrath for his ancient foe had spurned    But the ancient art of impalement was something that the boy had learned    Oh, how he learned   He learned, they burned and burned and burned    Rotisseries of corpses turned    Oh he's so glad,    He's so glad he's Vlad!