Welcome, dear listener, are you comfortable?   Put your feet up, close your eyes, let your senses dull   Float like a beach ball, wearing cordless 'phones   Let the tide take you, groove to the mellow tones   Groovy      Who switched the into?   Ah, but I digress   Do you ever get that feeling, you 'Not so fresh' ?      Do you hang out nights at the launderette?   Dreaming of the cure for stubborn stains?   Wanna climb into the big machine?   Wonder how it feels getting really clean?      I know you know more than   What you're coming clean for   God is skin on mohair   Just admit you itch there      Shift to the left, shift to the right   Fidget, lock knees, cough, cough   Fidget, don't scratch, don't break out in a sweat   Are we feeling comfortable yet?      I know you know more than   What you're coming clean for   God is skin on mohair   Just admit you itch there      Ever sweat bullets   At the sight of blood?   Ever drag a half-ton cross through spit and mud?      Wouldn't want to plan too far ahead   Wouldn't want to dwell on what's beyond   Pondering death is a dirty biz   Makes you wonder when your appointment is      Shift to the left, shift to the right   Fidget, lock knees, cough, cough   Fidget, don't scratch, don't break out in a sweat   Are we feeling comfortable yet?      Loosen your tie, loosen your belt   Clear your throat, fidget, cough, cough   Fidget, don't scratch, don't break out in a sweat   Are we feeling comfortable yet?      Fidget to the left, fidget to the right   Lock knees, cough, cough   Fidget, don't scratch, don't break out in a sweat   Are we feeling comfortable yet?