Michaelangelo   Was giving a one man show   He had statues with such feeling   He had his Cistine Chapel ceiling      People came from Cocamo   Just to see this one man show   They say we can't believe what we've seen   Tell us Michael what does all this mean?      And he says that's what I do when I can't get no pussy   That's what I do when I can't get no pussy   That's what I do when I can't get no pussy   And I don't get no pussy at all      William Shakespeare was working at home   Finishing up a brand new poem   And a book of sonnets he wanted to write   And three plays he had to finish that night      He said I'll call this one Hamlet and this one Macbeth   And this one Othello and I'll take a short breath   That's when Francis Bacon appears   And says tell me man where d'ya get all them ideas?      And he says that's what I do when I can't get no pussy   That's what I do when I can't get no pussy   That's what I do when I can't get no pussy   And I don't get no pussy at all      You all remember Atilla The Hun   Don't think he thought that war was fun   But whether the battle was lost or won   He'd just look out at the bodies that were rotting in the sun      And say It's just what I do when I can't get no pussy   It's just what I do when I can't get no pussy   It's just what I do when I can't get no pussy   And I don't get no pussy at all      [Thank-you   For what?   For nothin'   hahahaha]