I believe that gas is too damn high   An' there ain't nothin' more American   Than Mama's apple pie   I believe in love; I believe in peace   But I don't believe we'll ever see it   In that Middle East   I believe the Bible is cold, hard fact   An' I believe that Jesus is comin' back   Before she does      I believe the Sabbath is a day of rest   The taxman an' the Devil share the same address   I believe don't start; You gonna quit   I believe in keep your mouth shut   An' carry a big stick   I believe that dogs are better than cats   An' I believe that Jesus is comin' back   Before she does      There absolutely, positively    No doubt in my mind   That OJ did it; Lee Harvey didn't   An' she's real gone this time      I believe cold, cold beer   Tastes better on a bar stool   Than it does anywhere   I believe hard work really makes the man   But everyone should win a line every now an' then   I believe it's best to pay in cash   An' I believe that Jesus is comin' back   Before she does      There absolutely, positively    No doubt in my mind   That OJ did it; Lee Harvey didn't   An' she's real gone this time      I believe she was a real good thing   Can you believe I let a girl like her get away?   I believe she meant it the night she packed   An' said Jesus is comin' back before she does      Before she does   Before she does