Woke up today    looking through my email    it's all triple x - explicit sex    But I'm not horny       Can't make it stop, the different colored soda pops    striped toe socks, call the cops    I can't take anymore       I've got the perfect cel plan with nights and weekends free    All the ringtones that I need    But no one ever calls me       I should paint myself green    Walk around in a red g-string    Cause I just don't fit in    Turn my hat sideways    put a band aid on my face    You know that I....    Wish I could start a trend       Checkin' out and in of the Paris Hilton    Joe Millionaire - he's a has been   Flippin' through a hundred million channels    But I still watch Road Rules    Lose the pounds FLIP    You gotta buy now FLIP    Here's the number to save your soul FLIP    Breaking news...another Michael Jackson scandal       I've got the perfect cel plan with nights and weekends free    More on-peak than I need    But no one ever calls me       I'll wear low rider jeans    Put a barbell through my dingaling    Cause I just don't fit in    Turn my hat sideways    put a band aid on my pretty face    Cause I wish, I know, I could....    I would start a trend       Nana nana na    Nana nana na    Nana nana na       Then there's my girlfriend    She's such a cutie    She'd be a beauty    If she could get an extreme makeover on that booty    I could bend her over and she let me spank it    Take off my jeans    The zipper pinched my dingaling    And I don't really fit in    Throw my hat away    Take that stupid band aid off my face    And I...I wish there were    One more way to tan your skin    a reality show where no one wins    If I would be myself    Then I would start a trend       If I'd just be myself