I am into showbiz, I am a road manager   D'ya know a sexy chick? I got a pass for her   Touring can be boring, but not for me   You got to entertain yourself, I got a special hobby:      I fuck with the support band, I remember when   We had a shitty little group, called "Freak Kitchen"   I'm always in the mode for, let's say, any kind of dope   I asked the drummer if he wanted some, but he said "nope"      Well I couldn't believe what I just heard   The drummer of this group was this astonishing nerd   The singer and guitarist and the bass player as well   If I only had the guts I'd tell ém: go to hell!      Instead I turned around and asked a guy from the crew   To go and get a girl that we all can screw   You see, I an asshole and a real hypocrite   And my wife and kids don't know hippo-shit      I rather be a jerk, than being hip like you   I rather be a jerk, than do the shit you do   I rather be a jerk, than snort 'til I turn blue   I rather be a jerk, I rather be a jerk       An orgy a day keeps the Mrs away   I'm a road manager in a giant ashtray   And when my conscience knocks on the door   I bury myself in horse as a cure   And a prostitute, then I shoot some more      I rather be a jerk, than being hip like you   I rather be a jerk, than do the shit you do   I rather be a jerk, than snort 'til I turn blue   I rather be a jerk, I rather be a jerk