If you ever go to school   Then you'll know that it's a fool   Who believes a teachers pet   Is a pupil like yourself      For if I remember well   My old teacher's a belt   Which he kept around his shoulder blade   There for the mistakes we made      Have you ever been to sea?   And been told reluctantly   That if you have one more drink   We're all liable to sink      If you have all I can say   Is have a happy holiday   And don't come back without a tan   Especially from a far off land      Funny old world this or haven't you noticed?   Everything's glued on, nothing is screwed on   One day we will come unstuck   But until then we're in luck      If you ever feel the need   To go out and plant a seed   Then by all means go ahead   I won't stop you but instead      I will tell you where to go   And the seeds that you can grow   And by way of payment back I think   You could buy us all a drink      Funny old world this or haven't you noticed   Nothing is certain, gone for a Burton   Something must be done they say   But for the moment it can wait