Mother, Father, I'm here in the zoo    I can't come home 'cause I've grown up too soon    I got my sentence    I got my command    They said they'd make me major if I met all their demands    I could be a corp'ral into corp'ral punishment    Or the gen'ral manager of a large establishment    They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod    But I never thought they'd put me in the       Goon squad    They've come to look you over and they're giving you the eye    Goon squad    They want you to come out to play    You'd better say goodbye       Some grow just like their dads    And some grow up too tall    Some go drinking with the lads    Some don't grow up at all       And you must find the proper place    For everything you see    But you'll never get to make a lampshade out of me       I could join a chain of males or be the missing link    Looking for a lucky girl to put me in the pink    They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod    But I never thought they'd put me in the       Good squad ....       Mother, Father, I'm doing so well    I'm making such progress now that you can hardly tell    I fit in a little dedication    With one eye on the clock    They caught you under medication    You could be in for a shock       Thinking up the alibis that everyone's forgotten    Just another mummy's boy gone to rotten    They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod    But I never thought they'd put me in the       Goon squad....