I just bought me a great long ticket   I'm gonna use it at 4 P.M.   So you can call your secret love   And break the news to him      You thought your little romance   Was on the strict Q.T.   So if you want your freedom P.D.Q.   Divorce me C.O.D.      I won't be around   To hear you cry   I'm Texas bound   And by and by      You can reach me down in Dallas   A general delivery   So if you want your freedom P.D.Q.   Divorce me C.O.D.      There's gonna come a day, girl   When you'll be feelin' blue   You'll can't pay your little old bill   With a big old I.O.U.      This dynamite you're playin' with   May be T.N.T.   So if you want your freedom P.D.Q.   Divorce me C.O.D.      No need to fall   Down on your knees   'Cause I all I know   Are my ABC      I ain't no college professor   I ain't got no P.H.D.   So if you want your freedom P.D.Q   Divorce me C.O.D