Lord, I smoked 100 cigarettes   Waiting on your call but it ain't come yet   I'm waiting for your footsteps in my hall   And I'm watching for this ash to fall      And while I'm counting my regrets   I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes   You know how I'm feeling?      My porch light is on and I've unlocked my door   My eyes are red and my throat is sore   I check my mail and watch my phone   And I wonder when you're coming home      And while I'm counting my regrets   I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes      Yes, I smoked 100 cigarettes   Waiting for your call but it ain't come yet   I'm waiting on your footsteps in my hall   And I'm watching for this ash to fall      While I'm counting my regrets   I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes      You know, right about that time   My friend who, Mr Chilly call me up at this telephone   This what he said      How much longer can I watch my own TV?   Now that I've seen how white my shirts can be   One more smoke, I'll take just one more sip   Before I wipe your name right off my lips      While I'm counting my regrets   I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes      Lord, I smoked 100 cigarettes   Waiting for your call but it ain't come yet   I'm still waiting on your footsteps in my hall   And I'm watching for this ash to fall      And while I'm counting my regrets   I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes   And while I'm counting my regrets   I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes      Before I see the rising sun   I believe I'll smoke 101