This is the man that I plan to entangle    Isn't he fine?    My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle    Vengeance was mine    But I’m out of the biz    The name I made I'll trade for his    The only trouble is . . .   I’ll never tell       She is the one she's such wonderful fun    Such passion and grace    Warm in the night when I’m right   In her tight -   Embrace, tight embrace    I’ll never let her go    The love we've known can only grow    There's just one thing that . . .   No, I’ll never tell       Both: Because there's nothing to tell       He snores    She wheezes    Say, "housework," and he freezes   She eats these skeezy cheeses    That I can't describe    I talk, he breezes    She doesn't know what please is    His penis got diseases   From a Chumash tribe    The vibe gets kind of scary    Like she thinks I'm ordinary    Like it's all just temporary    Like her toes are kind of hairy    But it's all very well    Because God knows   I'll never tell       When things get rough    He just hides behind his Buffy    Now look, he's getting huffy    Because he knows that I know    She clings,    She's needy    She's also really greedy    She never -      His eyes are beady!       This is my verse, hello?    She -       Look at me!   I'm dancing crazy!      You know    You're quite the charmer    My knight in armour    You're the cutest of the Scoobies    With your lips as red as rubies    And your firm yet supple -    Tight embrace       He's swell    She's sweller    He'll always be my feller    That's why I’ll never tell her    That I’m petrified    I’ve read this tale    There's wedding   Then betrayal    I know there'll come the day   I'll want to run and hide       I lied    I said it's easy    I’ve tried    But there's these fears I can't quell    Is she looking for a pot of gold?    Will I look good when I’ve gotten old?   Will our lives become too stressful    If I’m never that successful?    When I get so worn and wrinkly    That I look like David Brinkley    Am I crazy?    Am I dreaming?    Am I marrying a demon?    We could really raise the beam    In making marriage a hell    So, thank God   I'll never tell    I swear that    I’ll never tell    My lips are sealed    I take the fifth    Nothing to see   Move it along    I’ll never    Tell