I'm a dirty old man   I do what I can   Tryin' to make a livin'   I'm a dirty old man      I like to get hammered   On Friday night   Sometimes I can't wait   So Monday's alright      It's a battle with the bottle   I'll win it alright   But I lost another round   In the bar last night      I'm a dirty old man   I do what I can   Tryin' to make a livin'   I'm a dirty old man      Yeah, I'm gonna get fired   For drinkin' on the job   Got caught with the boss' wife   In the parking lot      I'm gonna get killed   For doin' this again   But I just can't help it   It's under my skin      I'm a dirty old man   I do what I can   I'm gonna get hammered   And do it again      I'm a dirty old man   I do what I can   Tryin' to make a livin'   I'm a dirty old man      Got a bag of frozen peas   I use on my knees   I injured from beggin'   And tryin' to please      If you believe that   I'm losing my fat   Got a workout program   And a new rubber mat      I'm a dirty old man   I do what I can   Tryin' to make a livin'   I'm a dirty old man      I'm a dirty old man      It's a battle with the bottle   I'll win it alright   But I lost another round   In the bar last night      I'm a dirty old man