You were sickened with the vowing of silence   I was taken by your permanent high   Two lovers, are you turned on? How romantic!   Now I need a guillotine to get you off my mind      You were swept up in the buzz of a marriage   I was secretly hoping one of us might die   A close call would have ended up with the carriage   Let's call it 'X', no let's just call it 'Y'      You're just like your dad   Surprise! You don't only share his eyes   It's the drink that's in your hand   It's that knack for telling awful lies   Why am I always right?      As you slept away the day in my bedroom   I found a criminal use for your pillow   I love you terribly, I swear that this is true   But I just can't stop my hands from smothering you      I skipped town on a flight to your city   There I crept up to your lover's window   He poured a scotch and sobbed alone in the kitchen   I took dead aim, and then I let it blow!      You're just like your dad   Surprise! You don't only share his eyes   It's the drink that's in your hand   It's that knack for telling awful lies      You're just like your dad   Surprise! You don't only share his eyes   It's the drink that's in your hand   It's that knack for telling awful lies   Why am I always right?      Stick a fork in a socket, do what you'd like   Just make sure that I'm far out of your life   Take an axe to your fingers, carve out your eyes   And cut out your tongue and we'll call this a tie   Cut out your lying tongue and we'll call this a tie      You're just like your dad   Surprise! You don't only share his eyes   Like your dad   Surprise! You don't only share his eyes   It's the drink that's in your hand   It's that knack for telling awful lies      It's the drink that's in your hand   It's that knack for telling awful lies   It's the drink that's in your hand   It's that knack for telling awful lies   Why am I always right?