Lead vocal: frankie howerd         I was lonely and depressed   Having fled the family home   When I met an old acquaintance   I had only barely known      And I told her over tea   Of my worries and my woes   And a morbid fear of eating beans   In tightly fitting clothes      And she said psychoanalysis was just the thing for me   And she knew a mayfair analyst I really ought to see      So I went round to his rooms   And he saw me right away   Though he asked a sum of money I could ill afford to pay      But I lay down on the couch   By a bowl of flaccid flowers   And I talked and talked and talked and talked   For hours and hours and hours   And he told me tales of oedipus with great authority      And he asked me if my mother   Wore stiletto heels and rubber   And I realised that this poor soul   Was more confused than me      Well the shock was so profound   That I fled into the strand   Where I saw a hare krishna group   And joined in with the band      This was just the life for me   Free of worldly goods and care   And I chanted and I ranted   Round and round trafalgar square      I converted tens of thousands and they joined us then and there      But the bagwan was so jealous   That he called me over zealous   Then he threw me out   When I refused to cut off all my hair      (dr. ruth, dr. ruth, why not write to dr. ruth? )      So I wrote to dr. ruth   And she helpfully proposed   I should join a nudist colony   And throw away my clothes      All that sun upon my flesh   Would set my libido free   And would guarentee much more of it   Whatever 'it' may be      But I don't feel that I was quite equipped for such a life      Fair of skin just like my sisters   Too much sun would give me blisters   So I think I'll turn the whole thing in      And go home to the wife