Last night I stopped off for a beer on my way home   And I saw this broken hearted sweet thing cryin' all alone   My tender heart was deeply touched at the sight of a woman's tears   So I said hi there and I pulled up a chair and ordered us a couple of beers   We must have drunk a gallon of brew when I looked at my watch it was half past two   And I suddenly realized I hadn't even called my wife   And knowin' what would happen to me when I get home   I nearly broke my neck gettin' to the phone   And here's what I told her in an effort to save my life   Don't pay the ransom honey I've escaped   Considering what I've been through I'm in good shape   Well my wrist and ankles are a little sore from the tape   But don't pay the ransom honey I've escaped   [ guitar - steel ]   Now if you got tied up somewhere tonight on your way home   In a poker game or with a pretty dame and it slips your mind to phone   Don't blow your cool like a crazy fool and tell your woman where you've been   Your situation requires imagination and I've got a suggestion my friend   Tell her now don't pay the ransom ...   No don't pay the ransom honey I've escaped