Foolish bride call me up, beg to scratch her itch   Rich old man got the needle, slipped and dropped a stitch, yeah   Name a time, name a price, leave your door unlocked   I'll bring a toy guaranteed to put the spring in your shocks, oh yeah      Sumthin' for nothin'   Well, in and out, it's never free   Sumthin' for nothin'   Leave the money where it's easy, easy to see, oh yeah      Gigolo sounds so cold, call me, "Teacher's pest"   Twice a day, double pay, at my trade I'm the best, yeah   Never late, watch her watch, seconds on the clock   Overtime, break my back, slip and fall in the crack, oh yeah      Sumthin' for nothin'   Well, in and out, it's never free   Sumthin' for nothin'   Leave the money where it's easy, easy to see      She plays the role of a roving matriarch   Diamond rings, fancy things, dubonnet on the rocks, yeah yeah   For a treat gave it free, happy sixty-three   Crazy days, easy money, I was just sixteen, yeah   Easy money for such a good deed      Sumthin' for nothin'   Yeah, in and out, it's never free   Sumthin' for nothin'   Satisfaction guaranteed      Sumthin' for nothin'   Target practice in the dark   Sumthin' for nothin'   I'm a crack shot on the mark   And I love my work      Sumthin', nothin'   Sumthin', nothin'