Your boyfriend, he went down on one knee   Well, could it be he's only got one knee?   I tried to surprise you with vodka or tizer   I can't quite quite remember but you didn't thank me   You didn't even thank me because you never do      Your boyfriend, he has the gift of the gab   Or, could it be the gift of the grab ?   I tried to surprise you, I lay down beside you   And nothing much happened and you didn't phone me   You didn't even phone me because it's not your style   To dial      Your boyfriend, he has displayed to me   More than just a real hint of cruelty   I tried to surprise you, I crept up behind you   With a homeless chihuahua you coo-ed for an hour   You handed him back and said, "You'll never guess I'm bored now"