Bustelo, Marlboro, banana by the bunch   A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good   And firewood, look, it's Santa Claus      Hold your applause, oh hi   Oh hi after seven months? Sorry   This boy could use some Stoli      Oh, holy night, struck gold at MIT   They expelled me for my theory of actual reality   Which I'll soon impart to the couch potatoes   At New York University      Still haven't left the house?   I was waiting for you, don't you know?   Well, tonight's the night   Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show, no flow      Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve   Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe   A new member of the Alphabet City   Avant Garde, Angel Dumott Schunard      Today 4 u, tomorrow for me   Today 4 u, tomorrow for me   And you should hear her beat   You earned this on the street?      It was my lucky day today on Avenue A   When a lady in a limousine drove my way   She said, "Darling, be a dear, haven't slept in a year   I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"      "This Akita Evita just won't shut up   I believe if you play nonstop that pup   Will breathe its very last high strung breath   I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death"      Today 4 u, tomorrow for me   Today 4 u, tomorrow for me      We agreed on a fee, a thousand dollar guarantee   Tax free and a bonus if I trim her tree   Now who could foretell that it would go so well?   But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell      After an hour, Evita in all her glory   On the window ledge of that 23rd story   Like Thelma and Louise did when they got the blues   Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews      Today 4 u, tomorrow for me   Today 4 u, tomorrow for me      Back on the street where I met my sweet   Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete   The nurse took him home for some Mercurochrome   And I dressed his wound and got him back on his feet, sing it      Today 4 u, tomorrow for me   Today 4 u, tomorrow for me   I said, today 4 u, tomorrow for me   Today 4 u, tomorrow for me