I wrote this novel just for you   It sounds pretentious but it's true   I wrote this novel just for you   That's why it's vulgar   That's why it's blue      And I say, "Thank you"   And I say, "Thank you"      I wrote this novel just for mom   For all the mommy things she's done   For all the times she showed me wrong   For all the time she sang God's song      And I say, "Thank you mom   Hello mom, thank you mom   Hi mom"      I read a book about Uncle Tom   Where a whitey bastard made a bomb   But now Ebonics rule our song   Those motherfuckers got it wrong      And I ask, "Who is Uncle Tom?   Who is Uncle Tom?   Who is Uncle Tom?"   You are      I read a book about the self   Said I should get expensive help   Go fix my head create some wealth   Put my neurosis on the shelf      But I don't care for myself   I don't care for myself   I don't care for myself   I don't care      I wrote this novel just for you   I'm so pretentious, yes it's true   I wrote this novel just for you   Just for you, just for you