I was takin a trip out to L.A.   Toolin along in my cheverolet   Tokin on a number and diggin on the radio      Just as I crossed the Mississippi line   I heard that highway start to whine   And I knew that left rear tire was about to blow      Well the spare was flat and I got uptight   Cause there wasn't a filling station in sight   So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim      I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car   It was right in front of this little bar   Kind of a red-neck lookin joint called the Dew Drop Inn      I stuffed my hair up under my hat   And told the bartender that I had a flat   And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one      There was one thing I was sure proud to see   There wasn't a soul in the place except for him and me   He just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone      I called up the station down the road a ways   He said he wasn't very busy today   And he could have somone out there in just about 10 minutes or so      He said," Now, you just stay right where yer at!"   And I didn't bother to tell the darn fool   That I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go      So I ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar   When some guy walked in and said, "Who owns this car   With the peace sign, the mag wheels and four on the floor?"      He looked at me and I damn near died   And I decided that I'd just wait outside   So I laid a dollar on the bar and headed for the door      Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin   These five big dudes come strollin in   With one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth      I was almost to the door when the biggest one   Said, "You tip your hat to this lady, son!"   And when I did, all that hair fell out from underneath      Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight   In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night   Especially when there was three of them and only one of me      They all started laughin and I felt kinda sick   And I knew I better think of something pretty quick   So I just reached out and kicked old green teeth right in the knee      Now he let out a yell that'd curl yer hair   But before he could move I grabbed me a chair   And said "Now watch him Folks cause he's a fairly dangerous man!"      "Well you may not know it but this man is a spy.   He's a undercover agent for the FBI   And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan!"      He was still bent over holdin on to his knee   But everybody else was looking and listening to me   And I laid it on thicker and heavier as I went      I said:      "Would you believe this man has gone as far   As tearing Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars.   And he voted for George McGovern for President."      "He's a friend of them long haired, hippy-type, pinko fags!   I betchya he's even got a commie flag   tacked up on the wall inside of his garage."      "He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys.   He may look dumb but that's just a disguise,   He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage"      They started lookin real suspicious at him   He jumped up and said "Now just wait a minute Jim!   You know he's lying I been living here all of my life!"      "I'm a faithful follower of Brother John Birch   And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church.   And I aint even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!"      Then he started saying somethin bout the way I was dressed   But I didn't wait around to hear the rest   I was too busy moving and hoping I didn't run outta luck      When I hit the door I was making tracks   And they were just taking my car down off the jacks   So I threw the man a twenty and jumped in and fired that mother up      Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud   Of the way I was movin when I passed that crowd   Coming out the door and headed toward me at a trot      Now I guess I shoulda gone ahead and run   But somehow I just couldn't resist the fun   Of chasing them all just once around the parking lot      Well, they're headed for their car but I hit the gas   And spun around and headed 'em off at the pass   I was slinging gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the air      I had them all out there steppin and fetchin   Like their heads was on fire and their asses was catchin   then I figgered I had better go ahead and split before the cops got there      When I hit the road I was really wheelin   Had gravel flyin and rubber squeelin   And I didn't slow down till I was almost to Arkansas      I think I'm gonna reroute my trip   I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped   If I went to L.A., via Omaha