(Breaking up scenes and bad food go together so well, don't they?  Thanks to Jonathan and Darlene Edwards for the inspiration.)  In a Mexican restaurant I waited for you  For an hour I waited and anticipated  A fabulous dinner for two  You suggested a booth in the dark  "How romantic," I thought  "I'm sorry," you told me, then looked at me coldly  Thank heaven the salsa was hot  "Well how 'bout a drink?" you asked  I said, "That would be fine"  Then I said, "Cut the drama"  As the band played "La Bamba"  For the seventeenth time  And the mariachis played  And the plastic palm trees swayed  And the turquoise statue of Mary was turning to blue  You were trashing our relationship  As I choked on a nacho chip  You told me I'd have to get used to a life without you  Then the waiter came over to us  With cocktails for two  And all I could think as he set down my drink  Was that I'd like to dump it on you  You proceeded to twist the knife  Or that's how it seemed  As I sipped my gazpacho  You said, "You're not macho enough  For the man of my dreams"  What the hell was I doing there  With my heart on my sleeve?  He was being so rude  But right then the food came and I couldn't leave  And the mariachis played  And the plastic palm trees swayed  And the turquoise statue of Mary was turning to blue  You were slashing our relationship  With each Marguerita sip  But I couldn't begin to imagine a life without you  We ate dinner in silence then  And I felt like a wreck  Then halfway through my enchilada  I got the bravado to ask for the check  "Well I think I should leave," said I  "I don't want any scenes  It's too late for questions, I've got indigestion  And not just from eating the beans"  "What did you expect," I said  "Yes, of course I am hurt  No, don't try to console me  You've got guacamole all over your shirt"  And the mariachis played  And the plastic palm trees swayed  And the turquoise statue of Mary was turning to blue  Cashing in our relationship  I felt a smile return to my lips  And I saw a new life before me, a life without you  Then I pushed away my tortilla  Got up and said, "Guess I'll see ya"  'Cause I saw a new life that was free'a  A life without you