Shut out, pimpled and angry.  I quietly tied all my guts into knots.  Gave up on trying to make them,  I figured it'd take them too long to look up and besides...    It was undeniably clear to me i don't know why  When every other part of life seemed locked behind shutters  I knew what worthless dregs we've always been.    Lucked out and found my favorite records  Lying in wait at the birmingham mall.  The songs that i heard,  The occasional book  Were the only fun i ever took.  And i got on with making myself.  The trick is just making yourself.    But when they're parking their cars on your chest  You've still got a view of the summer sky  To make it hurt twice when your restless body  Caves to its whims  And suddenly struggles to take flight...    Three thousand miles north east  I left all my friends at the morning bus stop shaking their heads.  "what kind of life you dream of? you're allergic to love."  Yes i know but i must say in my own defense  It's been undeniably dear to me, i don't know why  When every other part of life seemed locked behind shutters  I knew the worthless dregs we are,  The selfless, loving saints we are,  The melting, sliding dice we've always been.