What a life it is   The hardships, the tears   The desperate years   Such sufferin'      Gimme a Bufferin!   And what have I got?   True, it's a lot!   But so what?   There's got to be more to being so great   To looking first-rate and staying out late   Just look at the state I'm in!      Oh!   Such sufferin'   My days are full of sufferin' and   Bufferin   I've really learned the hard way   That pastas and cakes   And french fries and steaks   Are not such great shakes   That castles in Spain   Are just a big pain   That life is inane   If you're sufferin'   I'm not blufferin'!      Can't wonders like me   Learn how to be   Happy and grateful   For just a mere plateful   Of life's simple goodies?   I wish it were so   But the answer is NO!   So I suffa   Get tougha   And don't get enougha   Anything   Us Super-Dupers   Are regular troopers   We give all we got   And believe it or not   That's a lot!   The standing ovations!   The keys to all nations!   Bermuda vacations!   Money! Success!   I'd settle for less   If I could stop this      SUFFERIN'!   Oh such sufferin'   Foo on such sufferin'   Poo on such sufferin'   Oh, nuts to all this sufferin'   Gimme a Bufferin