Here we go now!       I'm a villan I'm a rogue   I'll nick your wallet or garden gnome   I'm a burglar I'm a cad   An open window I'm in your home       I'll have your tools or kiddies toys   And I'm not safe - a joy of joys   I'll be the gasman or a toad   I'll have your telly or garden hose       While I'm scoping in the dark   I'll strap your dog so he won't bark   I won't disturb your only dreams   But if you wake up there's no screams       I'll nick anything removable   From the QE2 to the toilet paper in the houses of parliment   I'll even have the milk off your doorstep   Or the skin off a baby seals back       'cause I'm a real villan (played backwards)       I'll steal the paper or the milk   Or warn your neighbours or the bill   I'm a stealer I'm a crook   Read about me in Mich's book       Burglary is a life for me   Burglary is a life for me   People say that crime don't pay   I drink champagne every day       And the good lord said 'thou shall not steal'   There is only one path and that is the straight and narrow   It's a bit too bleeding straight and a bit too narrow for my liking       Ok gov It's a fair cop   Throw on the bracelets   Chink chink oh god I'm nicked       I sentence you to six months...   Take him away