swallowing an ocean of absence   soaking in the tortured admissions and passionate denials   the absent friends and enemies, the manufactured threats   the crushing weight of memories are all that I have left   the absence of feeling - no love, no pity, no hate   and the absence of anything as what's left of me   drowns in waves of mindless apathy, submerged in total despair   dilute the venom of misery   see the world through the bottom of a glass   as all sensation separates from a numbing heart   another dosage of the antidote suffocates emotion before it starts the same depression   the same fear...constant frustration at the same reflected stares   ...but cold flesh protects my mind like a clear, smooth, hard bottle-glass skull   from crushing volumes of nothing