I'm not a wealthy man, don't pay for my suntan   I work out in the heat and the cold   Sometimes, I'd like to be the big, bad wolf   Instead of just another sheep in the fold      I hear the rich man holler 'bout the shrinkin' dollar   Cry about a luxury tax   They won't let him write off his little eighty foot yacht   I'd like to have a problem like that      Oh, I'd like to have a problem like that   Should I buy the Porsche or the stretch, Cadillac?   Do I wanna drive fast or just ride around in the back?   I'd like to have a problem like that      I saw a celebrity talkin' on the TV   He looked like a tall Tom Cruise   He's seein' Sheila and Bambi, Linda and Candy   Burnin' both ends of his fuse      He said he's suffocatin', needs a vacation   He can't find time to relax from all the kissin'   And huggin', the sweet talk and lovin'   I'd like to have a problem like that      Oh, I'd like to have a problem like that   Be a one-man woman jugglin' act   How many can you keep in the air before you lose track?   I'd like to have a problem like that      I'd like to be too rich, I'd to be too thin   I'd like to be too young, I'd like to be too in   Should I kiss and tell and write a book on my life?   How much can I get for the movie rights?      Oh, I'd like to have a problem like that   Be a tabloid star at the checkout rack   Should I drag 'em through court or tell 'em to kiss my fax?   I'd like to have a problem like that      Give me those problems   I think that I could solve 'em   I'd like to have a problem like that      Sure would like to have a problem like that   Don't know what they're whining about   Let them get out here and [Incomprehensible] steel for a living