I like how when you turn the intercom up   Like all that little background noise   Then the beat comes in, that's real smooth man   Fuck studios, just happen to be here, aight, whatever      Yo, he woke up in a daze, back achin'   Breath smellin' like liquor, dick smellin' like sex   Head throbbin' like the bass from the club last night   No idea how he left, needless to say, perplexed      As he looked around the room that he never been in   Candles all around the bed, sheets quite feminine   Buck naked with his kicks on   Breakaway jeans, drawers and sweater were all on the bedroom floor      He heard singin' from the shower from the bathroom door   Sounded like Melvin Moore but he couldn't be sure   She had a sexy ass voice but she was so off key   Couldn't 'member how she looked, couldn't wait to see      Hopin' that it was the girl, third floor of the club   The one that let him grab her ass when they twisted the dub   Or perhaps it was the dime from the guest list line   Either one and several others would've suited him fine      From the bed to the bathroom, a voice said come in   Gradually now, he starts to remember   Peeped through the shower curtain like bachelor number three   Pleasantly surprised to see that it was the bartender      And tender was the operative word   She had a body like a cello with legs, I mean, the ass was absurd   Long neck, smooth skin, pretty face, kooky nipples   Eyes wider than hips, full lips between dimples      She said, "How did you sleep?" He said he didn't know   She asked, "Was it good for you too?"   I think so, but I really can't remember what went down last night   She told him, ?Take off your shoes, we can replay the highlights"      Stepped out the shower in a daze, legs achin'   Breath short from the [Incomprehensible], dick wrapped in a hat   Wide open 'cuz it was the last from a twelve-pack   Spit four in the shower till his tire went flat      She thought he was all that, she said, "I don't have to work today   Take a little nap so we can do it again"   No sooner than she said it, keys jingled, door slammed   He said, "Please baby, please don't let it be your boyfriend?      For the love of basketball, mademoiselle, look   I ain't Biggie Smalls, I don't even want a story to tell   I'm a lover, not a fighter, alright but then a girl walked in   Saw him naked and said, "What the hell?"      Time stood still as he thought to himself   This reminds me of a beer commercial back in the day   She's too young to be her mother, so he asked   ?How you doin'? Would you care to join in?"   She said, "Nigga is you crazy??      See this ring on my finger? That's my wife you was fuckin'   My name ain't Ronald [Incomprehensible], don't try to play me out"   She reached in her purse for the little pearl handle   He splashed her in the face with the wax from the candle      The 'tender ran back into the bathroom, screamin'   Slipped on the condom wrapper, broke her pretty little neck   The burnt-face wife pulled a gun on the dude   Famous last words, "I ain't mean you no disrespect!"      Wow! That was crazy   Yo J, that was cool and all   But what's up with the violent ending, man?   Is it possible for it to end a little bitmore pleasant?      What if the story woulda ended like this?   I'ma kick it again but only with a slight twist   It goes one for the griot, two for da gods   Three to flip the script, 'cuz it ain't that hard, check it out      Time stood still as he thought to himself   This reminds me of a beer commercial back in the day   She's too young to be her mother, would you care to join in?   She was butt naked under her coat      He was amazed at the second wind kickin' in   Thinkin' 'bout the fact that he almost didn't go to the club   Woulda been wack if he missed out on the greatest love of his life   Imagine if he stayed home with his wife?      'Cuz girl two   Yo her body made the 'tender look like a fender bender   The three of them together turned the bed to a blender   He left like five hours later with a permanent [Incomprehensible]   And feels he will ever remember      C'mon J, there's no way my man got laid quite like that   That just don't happen, that's like a porno or somethin'   And what about his wife? She didn't even say nothin'?   She didn't page him?      What if the story woulda ended like this?   I'ma kick it again but only with a slight twist   It goes one for the griot, two for da gods   Three to flip the script, 'cuz it ain't that hard, check it out      Time stood still as he thought to himself   This reminds me of a beer commercial back in the day   She's too young to be her mother, so he asked, how you doin'?   She said, "Eww! It smells like somebody been screwin'?      I hope it wasn't y'all then she started laughin'   He said, "What's so funny?" She said, "You don't know the half"   She was starin' at the joint with a fucked-up smile   She said, "I can come back if you gon' be here for a while?      "But between me and you and my roommate too   What I'm 'bout to say might just be a little snafu in your plans   Put it like this, she used to be a dude!"   Yeah, how's that for a plot twist?      He asked the 'tender, was it true?   She said, "Shit, I told you last night, my man, I thought you knew"   Ewww, shit! Ha ha ha   For real? Uh uh, man you're sick   Ha ha ha, for real? You got dat homie, I'm out