I like apple pie   And you like banoffee   We both love shopping for furniture   And meeting for coffee   We pretend we're into art galleries   'Cause it makes us feel clever   We're both in our element when we're on our knees   Whatever the weather      I could be your fag hag   And you could be my gay   I'll never make you feel sad   When you come out to play      I could be your fag hag   And you could be my gay   I'll never make you feel sad   When you come out to play      We don't give a Fuck   What people are thinking   I know you'll always look out for me   When we go out drinking   I can ask you things I can't ask anyone   And you'll give me direction   Apart from me, you're the only other person I know   Who reads the travel section      I could be your fag hag   And you could be my gay   I'll never make you feel sad   When you come out to play      I could be your fag hag   And you could be my gay   I'll never make you feel sad   When you come out to play      I could be your fag hag   And you could be my gay   I'll never make you feel sad   When you come out to play      I could be your fag hag   And you could be my gay   I'll never make you feel sad   When you come out to play