If you ask me why I lie to you   I can tell you I don't know myself   It's amazingly dishonest   But I'd have to recognize it as part of myself      Straighten up, why can't you straighten up?   I've heard you tell me this   So many times   It doesn't even stick      I get it all the time   I get it all the time   You know I love to make   A joke of it      And if you ask me why I hurt you   I don't understand it, I can't help myself   It's a special combination   Of predatory instinct and simple ill will      I would give some thought to it   If I thought that it might do me   Some good, some good      Straighten up, why can't you straighten up?   You always say I'll lose   Control of it   And thirty is not too old      Well momma, I would give some thought to it   If I thought that it might do me   Some good, some good, some good   Some good