I used to want to take a drill to my head   Let the pain out of the hole   I used to want to cut the veins in my neck   Cool the blood boiling my soul      When I wondered, why my daily headaches thundered   Tried to buffer, pushin' down the pain I suffered   Mutilated, feelin' so humiliated   Cannot wash the dirt off underneath my skin      There was a part of me left far behind   When at the age of five years old   I had my innocence taken from me   Emptiness would fill the hole      Now a second grader, thinkin' why I don't feel better   Why I'm filthy, why the hell I feel so guilty   When drawing stick men of pornographic men and women   Thinking'all the time, there's somethin' wrong with me      Everyday for three years from dawn 'til dusk   A migraine would take me and break me and it'd cripple me   So much that in dreams, it'd seem, with a hole in my temple   That I could probably make my headaches finally go away      Trephination, trephination   The enemy inside of me   Won't let me free   Wants me to bleed      And after three years now my headaches wear off   For reasons not quite to me known   The acupuncture needles stickin' my skin   Pushed them down as far as they'd go      But now I'm older and now inside my anger smolders   From depression, to fightin', takin' out my vengeance   Consequences, now I'd question during sex if   Is this how it fucking feels or am I fakin' it ?      No longer the child that you left there at the bart tracks   I'm now at 17, left in an empty blackness   On drugs, with thugs, and thinkin' "Goddamn!"   I'm gonna be a failure with the gutter passed out      Trephination, trephination   This enemy inside of me   Won't let me free   Wants me to bleed      Fuck!      [Incomprehensible]      So now I'm older and in this man an anger smolders   Now I'm thinkin' a hole in you is what I'm seein'   Your depression, the dent I kick in you in vengeance   Consequences are the pain I'd give to you      Oh I know that I'm dreaming, but in this dream I go in   Go through it, and end it and though I'd never do it   I'm killing you, hand on the trigger, pull it   Your final thought'll be a bullet in your fuckin' head      Trephination, trephination   This enemy inside of me   I'm now killing   To make me free      This enemy inside of me   I'm now killing   To make me free   Trephination, trephination