I play practical jokes, just to get a laugh (ha hah)   I put roaches in my neighbor's bubblebath   But anyway one day she called upon me   She said, "lyte - it's an emergency!"   My next door neighbor had an errand to run   I said, "why ms. davis - ask your son"   She said, "ricky's at his grandmother's"   I said, "well what about tommy, the younger brother? "   She said, "see, umm, he's at the pharmacy"   I said, "he'll be back soon how much longer could it be? "   She said, "c'mon please, it's just a trip uptown   If you leave right now you'll be back before sundown   Hurry up, there's not a moment to spare   It absolutely positively has to get there"   Umm, I contemplated then I played a good samaritan   I started the car, then she threw the package in      It absolutely positively has to get there   (get there? )   It absolutely positively has to get there   (well then send it federal express!)   It absolutely positively has to get there   (it gotta get there? )   It absolutely positively got to get there!   (yo who you rushin? )      Pumpin out the music on the fdr   Not far behind me was a dt car   So I eased up selector, 55 the digit   But on the fdr, 40 is the limit   Here they come, sirens on   I could see myself in jail til the break of dawn   But they rolled right by it wasn't me they was after   A little red corvette, they was tryin to capture   Dread I feel sweat so I set down my jacket   Look up ahead, now that's what I call traffic   Dipped to an exit and I made my way through   Couldn't believe when I hit first avenue   On a honda's ass, just about to crash   Looked at the gauge and the shit said no gas   Zero, nada, nothing in here see   In car terms the shit was on empty   Got out, and pushed the shit to the side   Hailed a cab, then I caught a quick ride   To the house of inflation, yes the gas station   Gave a little tip to show my appreciation   Got back to the ave where I left my car   It wasn't there, but it couldn't have gone far   Hot damn, I must have got towed   Tried to figure out how much money I owed   Went to the pound and I paid my debt   Think that was the worst? you ain't heard nuttin yet   Bumped into that crackhead sam I used to see   And like always, hand out, give me money   In my tank was a dollar's worth of gas   I had to get an ? machine fast      It absolutely positively has to get there   (get there? )   It absolutely positively got to get there   (what? )   It absolutely positively got to get there   (well send it some way else)   It absolutely positively has to get there      As I left the bank to walk back to the bm   Couldn't believe what my eyes were seein   Looked at the back tire, it was flate   While the other three, were so damn fat   A brother walked by and offered his help   Ordinarily I woulda did the shit myself   But he, changed it quick, so I passed him a ten   Here I go on this journey again   Went to the gas station, to fill it up   When a crackhead from nowhere grabbed the pump   I said, "look, I don't need your help today"   And I scared the motherfucker and he was on his way   Oops, a cat, shit, scrat!   Fur on my tires, and all that   What's this, a stroke of bad luck?    But at this point, I don't even give a fuck   I got to get the package to the destination   No matter what the confrontation   I arrive, bag in my hand   Lookin for a woman named pam   She opened the bag it was wrapped tight and snug   But in that bag yo, in that bag   45, guess what? (what was it lyte? )   It was a box of q-tips .. a box of fuckin q-tips man!!!   {*laughter*}