Please momma cant you see, I’ve always tried to please   I wore ribbons and jewelry and make up and perfume and dresses down to my knees    You said that it's a phase, just something I’d out grow    But I got a girlfriend and she's got a lawn that I’d sure like to mow   Go on and wish that Brad Pitt would come along    But I'd prefer Madonna in a lacy thong      'Cause I’m a lesbian, I don’t like nothing swinging 'tween their legs    Yeah I’m a lesbian, I don’t know why God gave me eggs   When I have sex it's fun and clean, and no man can come in between   No I don’t need no magic wand    I’m a lesbian      They talk behind my back and criticize my life    But I get no complaints from Lou Diamond Philips' wife       'Cause I’m a lesbian, I'd rather be with Jane than Dick   Yeah I’m a lesbian, a penis doesn’t do the trick   When we go in for 69, I know hers is the same as mine   So hide your wives cause here I come    I’m a lesbian      I’m a lesbian   When does cheer leading practice start   Hey there cutie