I wonder if you can see   I wonder if you can tell   I wonder if you see through the mask I wear so well   I'll never let you know what's going on inside me   My shame locks me down      All the things I wanted tell you   Are all the things I never will   Every time you reached out to me   All I did was push you away      I can't unchain the beast that screams inside me   I hate it, it's what I am      It makes me sick to be so mean   What I've been and what I've seen   From top to bottom, I am obscene   It stands in my place   It spits in my face   Shame      You smile I smile back   You ask me how I am I say I'm fine   I don't know why I'm so torn up inside my mind   The darkness swallows me whole      Don't go too deep, don't ask me why   Don't try to know me, don't make me lie   I wish I didn't know the things I know so well   I try to change but it's what I am