I know there's never been a man, in the awful shape I'm in   I can't even spell my name, my head's in such a spin   Today I tried to eat a steak, with a big old table spoon   You got me chasin' rabbits, walkin' on my hands and howlin' at the moon      Well sugar I took one look at you, and it almost drove me mad   And then I even went and lost, what little sense I had   Now I can't tell the day from night, I'm crazy as a loon   You got me chasin' rabbits, pullin' out my hair and howlin' at the moon      Some friends of mine asked me to go, out on a huntin' spree   'Cause there ain't a hound dog in this state that can hold a light to me   I eat three bones for dinner today, then tried to tree a coon   You got me chasin' rabbits, scratchin' fleas and howlin' at the moon      I rode my horse to town today and a gas pump we did pass   I pulled him up and I hollered whoa and said, fill him up with gas   The man picked up a monkey wrench and wham he changed my tune   You got me chasin' rabbits, spittin' out teeth and howlin' at the moon      I never thought in this old world, a fool could fall so hard   But honey baby when I fell, the whole world must have jarred   I think I'd quit my doggish ways, if you take me for your groom   You got me chasin' rabbits, pickin' out rings and howlin' at the moon