Curtain opens, spot lights the gentleman   Signing his love letter best wishes Simpleton   Dialog swam from his pen like polliwogs   He knew better that perfume was gravity   Pulling him closer to what could be tragedy   Love is blind, deaf and dumb, but never mind      You better catch me when I fall   I'm on my roller skates   'Cause any ol' way that I fall   I land in your arms even though it's wrong   'Cause I love my new mistake      Intermission gave way to a miracle   The birth of an accident grew to a spectacle   That couldn't wait, the mother was three weeks late   So Father Mason, clutching his crucifix   Baptized the baby in whiskey and licorice   What a lovely way, drowning sins in tooth decay      Looks like our hero's gonna fall   The bow's about to break   'Cause any ol' way that I fall   I'll be in your arms as we lie awake   With our lovely new mistake      You better catch me when I fall   My sugar trampoline   'Cause any ol' way that I fall   I land in your arms even though it's wrong   'Cause I love my new mistake      The ending turned tragic when many years later   The baby had grown up and married a pop singer   I think it was her turn to make her first mistake      Any ol' time at fall, any ol' way that I fall   Any ol' time at fall, any ol' way that I fall   Any ol' time at fall, any ol' way that I fall   Any ol' time at fall, any ol' way that I fall   Any ol' time at fall, any ol' way that I fall   Any ol' time at fall