Well, the whole town listened to the radio   For the Smiling Bill McCall Show   Everyone in Nashville   Was listenin' to Bill      I don't want to be layin' in bed   When they pronounce me dead      He'd stand and breathe in the microphone   With his guitar hangin' to his knee bone   All the girls just sat and dreamed   When Bill began his sing      I don't want my hat to be hung   When my last song is sung      But he never let fame go to his head   "This is Smiling Bill McCall", he said   "Gonna pick and sing a song or two   You all listen till I'm through"      And if you're at the house or in your car   Tune in this time tomorrow      To all the boys he was a big hero   They'd glue their ears to the radio   Then talkin' a most unusual drawl   Imitatin' Bill McCall      Daddy, can I get me a guitar   'Cause I want to be a star      The girls would say of Bill McCall   Why I bet he's over six feet tall   Handsomest man in Nashville   They said of Smiling Bill      He won't be plantin' potato slips   When he cashes in his chips      Then one day Bill didn't make the show   Didn't even show up for a week or so   The station's boss said to city hall   "Find Smiling Bill McCall"      It won't be hard to track him down   He's got the biggest feet in town      Well, there's a creek that runs through Nashville   And on the bank they found Smiling Bill   He's committin' suicide   But they grabbed him before he tried      "Turn me loose, I want to jump", he screamed   "'Cause I can't stand that theme"   Let this be my final breath   'Cause I'm scared to half to death"      The big brave Smiling Bill McCall   Is only four feet tall   I'd rather be in the river dead   Than to hear 'em laughin' at my bald head