AHHHH...The Lord is a monkey   Thanksgiving's coming on the Fourth of July   In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye   Well she come from out west on a nickel's worth of gas   Got her mind on her money and a dope up her ass   Outside of Phenix she was kinda broke down   Burned a cracker-boy rig and she was out of that town.   HA HA HA HAA   Well she was a hairy creature in the ashwam bed   She was sellin' more skies had a funky-ass head   Well she played with my mouth and she threw me on the bed   And she cut off my balls and she sewed em to my head   Well she's headin' back east in a 67 Caddy   Got her mind on her money and a dope for her daddy   Well I met her on the street where she beat me like a fool   Then she got me accepted to an ivy league school   Well I really did good but it's kickin' my ass   I lost 38 pounds and my eye turned to glass   Well she's looking pretty good first week in July   She's got a dope up her ass and a needle in her eye   Thanksgivings coming on the Fourth of July   In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye   Well she come from out west on a nickel's worth of gas   Got her mind on her money and a dope up her ass