If I had forever   I would live this silence   I would feed this disease   Of which you are the cause   You are the cure   So hated and yet so sought   Penetrating my everything   I thought I did   I thought I would   Be able to put this off forever   But now as my time fades away     It seems a new reality hits   And the insured tomorrow is not a constant for me   With this impending death   I admit to myself   With me shall die my petty dreams     The blood washes off and yet the shame prevails   Tearing from the eyesockets the tellers of this tale     To die with nothing   Is a choice I've made   To derpive myself   Not telling you  Just how I live through this   Never will you hear my confessions   Like the obsession that was born of crayons and toys   And shall die with me today     The blood washes off and yet the shame prevails   Tearing from the eyesockets the tellers of this tale     It's untold     And now this loathesome beast   This would've-could've-should've spectre   Will crawl into my deathbed   And I shall smell it's foul breath   My death will pain me tenfold   Because no one will know   To hell with the spent years   and fuck the shed tears   I'll burn the books and sketches   But my guilt will keep knocking     Knocking     Knocking on my bedroom door