XANDER    Well, I can do an omolette, I've almost got that...       ANYA    This is the man that I plan to entangle    Isn't he fine?    My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle    Vengeance was mine!       But I'm out of the biz    The name I made, I'll trade for his    The only trouble is - -    I'll never tell.       XANDER    She is the one    She's such wonderful fun    Such passion and grace    Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight - -    Embrace! Tight embrace!       I'll never let her go    The love we've known can only grow    There's just one thing that - -    No... I'll never tell.       ANYA, XANDER    Cause there's nothing to tell.       ANYA    He snores       XANDER    She wheezes       ANYA    Say "housework" and he freezes       XANDER    She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe       ANYA    I talk; he breezes       XANDER    She doesn't know what please is.       ANYA    His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe!       ANYA, XANDER    The vibe gets kind of scary       XANDER    Like, she thinks I'm ordinary       ANYA    Like, it's all just temporary       XANDER    Like, her toes are kind of hairy       ANYA, XANDER    But it's all very well    Cause, God knows, I'll never tell!       ANYA    When things get rough, he    Just hides behind his Buffy!    Now look, he's getting huffy    Cause he knows that I know.       XANDER    She clings    She's needy    She's also really greedy    She never - -       ANYA    His eyes are beady!       XANDER    This is my verse, hello!    She - -       ANYA    Hey, look at me! I'm dancing crazy!       ANYA AND XANDER    You know       XANDER    You're quite the charmer       ANYA    My knight in armor       XANDER    You're the cutest of the Scoobies    With your lips as red as rubies    And your firm, yet supple - -    Tight embrace!       ANYA    He's swell       XANDER    She's sweller       ANYA    He'll always be my feller       XANDER    That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified       ANYA    I've read this tale    There's wedding, then betrayal    I know that come the day I'll want to run and hide       ANYA, XANDER    I lied    I said it's easy    I've tried    But there's these fears I can't quell       XANDER    Is she looking for a pot of gold       ANYA    Will I look good when I've gotten old?       XANDER    Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?       ANYA    When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?       XANDER    Am I crazy?       ANYA    Am I dreamin'?       XANDER    Am I marrying a demon?       ANYA, XANDER    We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!       So, thank God, I'll never tell!    I swear, that I'll never tell       XANDER    My lips are sealed       ANYA    I take the fifth       XANDER    Nothing to see    Move it along       ANYA, XANDER    I'll never    Tell!